My First BL Experience - Twilight Out of Focus

Written by Rei Caldombra 9/20/24 Video: https://youtu.be/OYpqabA9Huo

We’re at the end of Summer 2024, so it’s time to talk about the shows I’ve finished. My first (in multiple ways) is Twilight of Focus / Tasogare Out Focus. I talk a lot about shows focused on cute girls, but this time I’m talking about cute boys without a female character in sight. There will be spoilers for the anime and discussion of sexual topics.

To give some of my background- I had not seen any proper Boys Love before watching Twilight Out of Focus. I’ve never had anything against BL, it was just not something I thought about or looked into. I have heard friends and people online talk about it and usually sing its praises, but I was never involved enough to take much out of that. And of course, I’ve seen memes and stereotypes like Boku no Pico and Fujoshi parody but I knew those weren’t proper representations of the genre and community as a whole. As to how I ended up watching this one, I simply didn’t have much to watch this season and came across it while looking through the Summer 2024 list again. I felt in the mood for romance and thought the premise sounded interesting, so I decided I’d finally give BL a proper shot.

Did I pick a good one to be my first?

And I’m really glad I gave this a try because I thoroughly enjoyed this anime! As far as I can tell this seems like it would be a good introduction to BL, showcasing multiple relationships while not being too intense. But I am a newbie so I will allow the experts to make that call. Let me know if this was a good first time. As I am not very knowledgeable, do forgive me for not knowing terms and tropes and if I accidentally say anything insensitive. I do not intend to say anything derogatory.

As a romance, it’s very cute while also having a good amount of substance when it comes to relationships. There is plenty here to enjoy for someone who is not into BL. For the couples, my most to least favorite is Giichi + Jin, Rei + Shion then Hisashi + Mao.

This is a series that up until the last few episodes focused entirely on one couple at a time. This can make each couple feel a bit detached and make the anime feel less cohesive, feeling more akin to separated stories that take place in the same setting. But this got better once we got to the last couple, as the previous characters had some more roles to fill. Thankfully for the last few episodes, they give us focus on all the couples which helped remedy the issue. This was a good move that made things at least wrap up with more cohesion. I'm glad they got back to focusing on Mao and Hisashi, as after many episodes of the other two couples that I liked better, I started to forget about them.

I do think Mao and Hisashi work, but I do not have a lot to say about them as characters and dynamic. I do think they play well into various themes and topics though, which I will get to later.

The setting of a film club worked great for giving the characters scenarios and topics to talk about that are recontextualized into who they are and their relationships. I like when the characters make analogies and metaphors about filmmaking to their situation. I feel the film setting is ingrained enough in the characters that I can buy them thinking and saying metaphors and cheesy things. Part of what makes Giichi + Jin my favorite is that the collective passion for film in this series is the most intertwined in their characters. They take the best advantage of the setting, with their great antagonistic back and forth from their competition as the heads of their year and filmmakers with different visions.

Giichi also brings a ton of hilarious meta-jokes about BL, being a BL otaku. This is even better because his experience with BL genuinely alters how he interprets and views things between him and Jin. Seeing him react to his feelings through that lens is super funny while also playing into his initial aversion to the idea. Jin also gives us a different reaction, as he accepts it pretty quickly but is unsure what to do about it. Their difference in reactions plays into their contrasting dynamic.

A great move is how the anime follows up on these two characters who are entrenched in filmmaking with Shion who initially has no care for it at all. This contrast worked great at keeping the transition to a new focus character fresh. Shion “I can fix him” Yoshino immediately became a very likable character to me. On first glance, he’s very talented but his only true interest is in being gay. I believe is a great portrayal of the struggles an openly gay man can face, such as people reducing them down to just their sexuality.

Shion almost got stuck in a time loop with all his demands of an idealized school life. I loved his outlook of romance being swayed by media like with Giichi, but Giichi was not actively pursuing romance while Shion was. As we get further in, we see his struggles and why he so adamantly pursues a relationship while never sticking with any activities. The latter point matches with Rei, who is initially unwilling to compromise. It took longer for me to grow attached to Rei, but once we got a good look into who they are as people I found them very cute together. One of the most hilarious segments is Rei being a crappy boyfriend, but then it evolves into being an important part of his character. The running gags of both of the latter couples are integral to their personalities and dynamics rather than just being played as a joke. This part of the story is also when it starts to fix the detachment issue, as Rei was a character we had been introduced to through the previous couple’s time. Rei gets to help Gin navigate his feelings then Gin returns the favor during Rei’s time in the spotlight. Both of these couples feel complementary to each other. I believe this also plays into why I like these two couples better, they have more meaningful interactions with the rest of the cast. While Hisashi and Mao feel more like they are in their own world.

There were too many topics and feelings around romance and relationships brought up in this show to cover, so I’ll be highlighting the ones that resonated the most with me.

Dealing with change is a very difficult thing to navigate in a relationship, but you can get through it with proper communication. Shion and Rei’s relationship focuses heavily on how they both change in ways they didn’t expect. People talk a lot about actively making an effort to change ourselves, but in reality, it tends to happen a lot when we aren’t trying. And we tend not to see change in ourselves as well as others can see it. We especially see this with Shion and Rei. Change can be scary, but partners and friends can help us navigate change. Rei and Jin help each other realize how they’ve each changed, and then they both take that positive energy to go back to their partner. Shion and Rei both realize that since they love each other, they can embrace them changing some of their habits to cater to the other person. Changing for your person one-sidedly is very problematic. but is necessary in relationships. Changing for someone isn’t the problem, it’s the context around it that matters. Time brings changes that can test a relationship, which Hisashi is afraid of as it comes time for them to graduate. But Mao, now more secure with himself and the relationship, recognize that they have to take these changes head-on. Giichi and Jin have a similar issue, instead with them both feeling anxious about how Jin’s graduation will affect things. But they are able to dissuade these fears by listening to encouragement from the other. Even if their cheesy encouragement seems empty to the one saying it, it is not empty for the other person.

When you’re in a relationship with someone, you see someone’s growth firsthand. When your S.O makes positive improvements in their life, it can make you want to improve and grow alongside them, which is great. But while it can be inspiring, it can also be crushing. It can leave you with feelings of inadequacy, such as being left behind as they charge ahead or being unworthy of being with them. This also comes from simply being in love with someone. In a serious relationship, you are putting a person on a pedestal as someone truly special. So it makes sense that you hold them in high regard, and sometimes that results in you putting higher expectations on yourself. Mao faces this issue, with Hisashi helping him understand the positive things he brings to the relationships that he struggles to see himself.

Seeing your significant other expand their horizons is great, but that may also mean they are spending less time with you. I feel possessiveness has a very negative connotation to it considering at its extreme it is very unhealthy and even dangerous. But the feeling of possessiveness is not inherently toxic, it is a natural part of being in love with someone. A complete lack of possessiveness can bring down relationships and indicate that at least one side is not truly invested or reciprocating. It feels good to feel desired, and partners recognize that. At various moments we see the characters grow their relationship by being honest about their desire for each other after one of them questions it. We also see this through Mao, with him feeling jealous. Mao realizes this feeling is toxic, and it makes him feel even worse about himself. But by openly talking about their desire for each other, both characters get their feelings reaffirmed and they become more secure in their relationship. I feel Twilight Out of Focus gets the positivity found in the healthy level of possessiveness.

One aspect of Twilight Out of Focus I appreciated is how blunt it is with sexual topics. This may feel more notable to me than it is because I’m not that experienced with BL but I am experienced with how sexuality is typically shown in Anime. For example, Mao and Hisashi openly talking to each other about masturbation in a non-sexual scenario was unironically such a pleasant surprise and a great early impression. This seems like a weird thing to say is notable, but when masturbation can be treated as something taboo to talk about when not in something genuinely pornographic, it is nice to have characters talking about it like real people do. It is something that makes sense for roommates in a very small space to talk about. I and people I knew had conversations like this during college. The characters feel a lot more natural in this series in part because we get to see these conversations. This also makes the scenes of sexual nature feel less sudden. Sometimes it can feel like anime characters act like sex doesn’t exist unless they have sexual organs directly in front of them. I also like how it makes it very clear that the characters are having sex, but not getting overly graphic with them. Whether that is good or a shame may depend on your taste, but as someone who is not into or grossed out by gay sex scenes, I think it’s a good middle ground. The relationships also feel more natural because we are explicitly aware that they are having sex, and because of that we can properly get where they are coming from when they talk about it as an aspect of their relationship. When Mao talks about feeling bad over never initiating sex, that would be harder to understand if our perspective only consisted of the implication that they were having sex. We see that Hisashi is usually the one initiating, and someone paying close attention could have picked that out. When so many anime beat around the bush concerning sexual topics above liking certain body parts, it was very satisfying to have Twilight Out of Focus give a much more expansive and natural view of it.

On the technical side of things, the visual presentation is excellent. The shading and animation is great. The use of film motifs is done very well in how some scenes are presented.

I think this show gave me a good first impression of what BL has to offer. I can see a lot of the strong elements that I have heard people praise BL for, such as the more mature writing. I had a lot of fun watching these characters enter into and navigate issues in their relationships. It was very cute and funny through its variety of well-written character dynamics and personalities. The entire series also plays into its film setting super well. I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself a BL fan now, but going forward I will properly consider it when I am looking for a romance fix. Thank you for reading!

My Patreon if you would like to support me and the website (which now has a poll you can vote in as a paid member): patreon.com/ReiCaldombra